How To Avoid Bad Massages in Thailand

There are a lot of bad and mediocre massages in Thailand. Only 40-50% of massage shops in Thailand are endorsed by the ministry of public health. Especially in Bangkok where there is a massage shop on seemingly every corner, you really don’t know what kind of qualifications your massage therapist has. You don’t know how many hours of training they have done or what school they went to, if they went to any at all.

In this section of my four part series on massages in Thailand, I'll tell you how to avoid a bad massage. You might also want to learn about the types of massage in Thailand, things to know about massages in Thailand, and reputable massage shops.

This article is about LEGITIMATE family-friendly massages. If you’re looking for something else, this article is not for you.

You too can avoid a bad massage

As someone who gets a lot of massages, I know what’s good and what’s bad. Living here for a while, I've had to learn how to avoid bad massages. Nobody wants an unskilled person attempting to give them a massage.

Thankfully bad massages are relatively easy to avoid. Unless you get a recommendation from someone you know, try to stick to the big name massage chains, traditional Thai medicine centers, or smaller shops with lots of Thai clientele. Check to see if smaller shops display their government licensing certificates. One of the smaller places I visit has the licenses for each massage therapist on display next to the front desk.

You can certainly check online reviews, but good reviews are no guarantee of quality. When I check reviews, I try to focus on the Thai language reviews (you can use gtranslate to read them) and the 1-star reviews.

Mediocre massages are harder to avoid. It's quite common for some government certified massage therapists to just go through the motions without really trying. But by being aware of a few simple things, you can at least avoid a bad massage.

Avoid shops with young women in skimpy clothing

You may see some shops with a lot of pretty young women wearing skimpy clothing - short shorts or short skirts, maybe provocative looking shirts. If you are looking for a proper family-friendly therapeutic Thai medical massage (which you should be if you're reading these articles), these types of shops are not where you want to go.

Similarly, if you're in a gay part of town, avoid massage shops that employ only men.

Avoid shops with touts trying to get you inside

Have you passed shops where a bunch of massage people are sitting out front actively asking every passerby to come inside for a massage? If you are in a touristy area full of massage shops, sometimes you can’t avoid this. But otherwise, if a massage shop is good, its reputation will speak for itself. There’s no need for the massage therapist to stand outside actively advertising to everyone. Some good shops will have their massage therapists sitting out front, but they won't bother people to come into the shop.

When in doubt, opt for a foot massage

If you're in a high tourist area, it may be difficult to vet any of the shops. In this instance I will opt for a foot massage instead of a full body massage. It's much harder to do damage from a foot massage, so even if I get a bad one, I probably won't end up hurting.

For foot massage, observe the massage therapists first

Most places that specialize in foot massage have numerous chairs with people getting massages.  If you can observe the techniques of the therapists giving the massage, you can get an idea of the quality, and then decide if you want a foot massage

Avoid massage shops in Red light districts

There are lots of massage shops in and around Bangkok's largest red light districts. While some of them may be reputable and good, I would skip all of them and find another area of town to get a massage. A friend of mine got molested at one of the shops near Patpong. I also know men who go to some of those massage shops for adult entertainment, so I just blanket recommend that people looking for family-friendly traditional therapeutic massage avoid all of the massage shops near red light districts, unless someone they trust gives them a specific recommendation.

Men will be hassled more than women

The stories I've heard from my guy friends are sometimes shocking. If you're a man and you want to find a family-friendly therapeutic medical massage, definitely never walk into a shop that's paying a little too much attention to you.

If you follow my advice, you should be able to avoid bad massages during your time in Thailand.

Next up, check out some reputable massage shops.